Monday, October 13, 2014

Capture your grief. Day 8. Resource.

When Eva died the only thing I wanted to do was get together with parents who had lost a child too. There was no compassionate friends group in my town. There was nothing. But what there was, was a lot of mamas who had children who died in our small town. An inordinate amount of babies have died in our small town. So many. I mentioned wanting to have tea with baby loss mamas to a friend. She organized a grief tea and invited a few mamas. It was good. A spinoff came from that in that two other mamas and I met monthly for a few months for grief tea. Unofficial. But healing. I also saw a grief counsellor weekly and then monthly for a few months. I still see him occasionally but the need isn't as great now. The pit, the pain, the darkness...they are familiar now and I can handle them differently. 

Other than that my resources have been mostly online. Glow in the woods. This blog. Facebook groups. But there is something real in real talking with a real person in real time about real pain. And that's what I would like to be able to do again. There is an organization that has started since Eva's death but you can't bring a baby to the group out of sensitivity to those mamas in the throes of early grief. Which I totally understand. But has also limited my ability to attend. Nathan was too young to leave with Mike and now Felix is too young to leave. But I'm looking forward to attending when Felix is a bit older.

I don't know what to put as a photo for this one, so, true to my love of words, this entry will be only words.

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