Monday, December 2, 2013

A bit of Christmas

Christmas preparations are underway here.

I hate Christmas.

I used to love Christmas.

Now I love my children but do not love the jolly ness of it all.

I am just plain tired of honouring Eva.

What I want to do is love her, hold her, discipline her, encourage her, cheer for her...

What I get to do is honour her with my life. What a load of crap that really is.

Meanwhile, we prepare for Christmas with cookies, advent calendars, candles, wreaths and decorations...all of which sound so jolly don't they? And yet all of which are but a shoddy covering of the REAL meaning of Christmas. Christ. Christmas.

I still love what Christmas represents. I just don't love the everything else.

I miss you Eva.

Here are some ideas for bereaved parents to keep their child involved in Christmas.

- Hang their stocking on Dec 1st and during the advent season write down a memory of your child (even if it is a memory of your pregnancy if that's all you have). On Christmas Day when everyone is opening their stockings you can open up your child's full of memories.

-Hang a special ornament for your child (or make one-making things is so healing).

-Sponsor a Compassion Child in your child's honour. (We are planning to do this in the next couple years with the same birthday as Eva).

-Take a 'family photo' of your stockings hanging all together.

-Build a 'snowman family' with your child represented and use that for your Christmas card this year.

-buy gifts your child would have loved and give them to a women's and children's shelter.

-And especially if this is the first Christmas you are celebrating without your child and people have the audacity to send you a Christmas card wishing you a merry little Christmas and all the best for a fantastic new year with no mention of your child then please don't feel bad if you decide to go ahead and have a small bonfire with aforementioned Christmas cards.


  1. LOVE this post! I can relate to this so much! Love the bonfire comment. (((hugs))) You can see by my recent post that I still find the holidays difficult.

  2. I love your honesty, so much! I am putting off putting up the tree. I don't generally like Christmas much anyway, and it is going to be so painful to have the tree up, like last year only so different.