How are you?
I'm often asked this question right now. With Nathan hovering at just past the one month mark this question has hovered on many lips near me...
I usually say pretty good or okay or managing or tired. All of these answers are true some of the time.
While the answers are true they are not answering the question people are asking. People are asking me how I'm managing with a newborn and I am answering about how I'm managing living without Eva. And they aren't answers that I want to give. One time I answered well, we're missing Eva always but we're doing really well with Nathan. I got a sigh and the question repeated what I mean is how are you doing physically since having a baby?
Oh, well, if that's all you're asking then I'm doing really great. I gained 20 pounds this pregnancy and already lost 25 pounds thanks to eating Trim Healthy Mama style while I was pregnant, and beyond. I got my placenta encapsulated and that has really helped balance my hormones after the birth. I had a touch of baby blues with every birth and I knew that this time I would be at high-risk for real post partum depression. I wanted to take every measure possible to avoid this happening.
But nobody asks me how I'm coping with watching Nathan and seeing Eva. Few comment on his physical similarities to his sister. I point out that his left ear is an exact wrinkly replica of Eva's. People only wonder at how I'm coping with Nathan. Nathan is doing great. He is doing his job. He is eating. He is sleeping. He is pooping. Most importantly, he is growing. Something Eva wasn't very good at. He's getting excellent medical attention. Also something that lacked in his sister's early life. He nurses really well. Another thing his sister didn't. The similarities and differences in their lives abound.
He is loved and we are blessed (and paranoid) to have him. We are thankful for every moment we spend with him and he is not a little spoiled.
But how are you...well, that's a question akin to asking me how many children I have...what are you really asking...what do you want to hear...please be clear. It's one of those loaded questions around here...and you didn't know you were carrying a gun, did you, until you pulled the trigger.