Friday, September 20, 2013

The tattoo...

Yesterday I turned 36. 36. I was 33 when Eva died. This is my third birthday without my precious daughter. And she should be three less than a month from now.

I have been thinking about getting a tattoo for Eva. I thought it was something that would maybe happen in 10 years or something...and whenever it happened it would be the right time.

But it happened yesterday. And I'm lovin it...My heart on my sleeve, so to speak.

My first birthday without Eva was 35 days after she died. I didn't even want anyone to acknowledge the day, let alone wish me a happy birthday. I didn't think I could EVER be happy again.

My second birthday was slightly better because it certainly could not be worse (barring losing another one of my precious children). We did a few things and it wasn't terrible. If you really care feel free to read about it here.

This birthday we were in Edmonton for doctor appointments. Nathan has an ear infection and Samuel went for his yearly check up with Dr.C.

We brought some phone cards and blankets to PICU and we stopped by Ronald McDonald House for coffee and cinnamon buns. They were delicious. I cherish RMH because there I am remembered as Eva's mom, for a short time. She is remembered by some and others have no knowledge of the precious girl that once almost crawled there. No lie,  I am often jealous of some of the miracles running around that place.

After that we went to Oddball Tattoo and Silver Dave tattooed a permanent reminder of my sweetest girl. I like having her right there. In my sight, all the time.

Wearing my heart on my sleeve.


  1. It's so pretty and cheerful. Was it your first tattoo? I found that a really painful location for ink compared to others.

    1. A3B, I have two other tattoos I got when I was 17. I can't compare the pain. I have hurt so much more since that time. I didn't actually find it that bad, to be honest.

  2. Your tattoo healed in just one day? I like it a lot.

  3. Thank you Amy. I like it too. This photo was taken 24 hours later. Silverdave said it might start to scab a couple days later. He also uses a newer type of tattoo machine (I'm really not up on that lingo)that isn't as painful and heals better than the old style.