Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Welcome Home

When we were driving home on Sunday night it was raining but I could tell there was sun up ahead. And reading metaphors into everything these days I thought about how we were driving from the storm into the sun. How the storm was behind us and the sun was coming.

And then I thought that this storm will never end. I can heal as much as possible. I can give my pain to Jesus. I can go to as many parties for dead kids as there are. I can hang out with other bereaved parents. But Eva will always be dead. Sometimes I think, well, hasn't she been dead long enough? Can I have her back now? But it is never to be. Until the day I die, my little sweetie is seperated from me. And that storm will always be with me, no matter how many sunny days lie ahead.

The rain ended about half a mile before we turned onto our road. We drove up our road and turned into our driveway where the most beautiful rainbow I have ever seen greeted us. It started behind our house and ended on the highway. We could see both ends of it and it was a double rainbow. It felt to us that Eva was saying 'Welcome Home'.

And one day she will welcome us Home once again, and on that day the storm will really be behind us and sunny days will truly loom.


  1. Hi Em, Didn't know the best way to contact you. There's a woman named Lyndsey who posted on the For one and all section on Glow who I think could benefit from your words. She lost her daughter at 21 months. When I was pregnant, I avoided all threads but the pregnancy thread (too sad, too scary) so I thought you may miss it. Having living children and a stillbirth myself, I know that losing a baby like Eva is much different than the loss most have experienced on Glow. I just thought she could benefit from your sage words so wanted to point it out. I think of you and your Eva often and it's really hard to even imagine what kind of suffering you've gone through and are going through. I am so so so sorry she is not with you here on earth. I pray your Hope is safe and sound and will help carry you through this storm.

    Warmly, Nicole (from Glow)

  2. Somewhere over the rainbow she is there always with you in heart, smiling down on you, waiting x

  3. Beautiful and symbolic picture. A sweet blessing from God!