Thursday, May 10, 2012

Intense...and that's okay.

This blog is intense.

It is not how I feel or how I am every moment of every day.

It is where I come to talk about Eva (and sometimes, but rarely, other stuff too)

This blog has intense grief embedded in it. There is no way it cannot.

At first I wanted people to read this blog because I thought people might understand (sort of) how it might feel to lose a child. Now I know this can never happen. And that's okay.

I like my blog. It helps me put my emotions into words.

As time has passed, however, I realize there are things that feel normal to me now that are totally out of the realm of comprehension for many. And that's okay.

However, I am not crazy or depressed. I am bereaved. Sometimes they may look the same.

I am sure that sometimes my blog bothers and upsets some people. That's okay. Sometimes, it bothers and upsets me, too.

However, I have also been told that my blog has helped people understand their feelings regarding intense pain and grief in their own lives.

If my blog is too intense for you. Please take a break and stop reading for awhile. That's okay.


  1. :) I'm glad that you're honest in your blog, and that it helps you. It helps me to know that others are on this path, too, and that it's painful for them, too. There are so many ways that I feel alone in my loss, and it takes me a lot of focus to remember all of the ways that I am not alone in my loss. You and Eva are here with us. And that helps.


    1. Thank you Suzanne. You have become a dear friend.

  2. I like your blog too...but I also hate it because it saddens me so much to hear about your pain and suffering in losing Eva.
    Yet I will continue to read your blog because I feel it helps me know how to pray for you :)