Capture your grief. Day 6. Books

I'm a reader. It's in me. So when Eva died that's what I did. I read and read and read. I read blogs and I read books. Too many to count. I tried to make sense of her death through words. My own and others. I still haven't managed to do this. But now I know I never will. Her death will remain a senseless tragedy until the day I am finally home in heaven. At which point the questions will not matter anymore, I believe. Here are two of my favourite books. Gifted to me shortly after her death. Simple. Perfect in their own way. I like that they are illustrated and simple. Although I have also really enjoyed the deep ones. Holding onto Hope by Nancy Guthrie would be my favourite deep book. But I don't have it to photograph.

 Tear soup. I read Tear soup when I did a doula course while pregnant with Eva. It was suggested to keep one or two copies on hand to gift to couples who have a stillbirth. Never in my wildest dreams was I expecting to be gifted that same book less than a year later. 

Mommy please don't cry was gifted to me by my lovely neighbour on Eva's first birthday. Two months after she died. I don't love the title because how can anyone or anything tell me not to cry and I only read that book when I have the time to really, really weep. I like how the beautiful illustrations show children in heaven playing with other children and doing fun things like a birthday party and other normal things that I wish so much I could do with my precious Eva.

This is the last page and if I ever manage to read the book without crying this page always sends me there. I can't wait!