It is such a relief to see Nathan sleeping in his own bed.
But today I find myself completely exhausted. Sleep in the hospital was scarce and now it's catching up to me...but it's more than that. It's the relief maybe but it's also the 'what would have beens' with Eva. The hospital would have been her community. The nurses there wouldn't say that they remembered Eva from years ago. They would be greeting Eva and remembering her favourite band aid character. She would have a favourite lab tech for blood draws...just, well, all those things...not really fun things but the reality is Eva would have had more sick days than most kids...had she lived.
I'm sure it's much nicer for the government the way it is now. Death is so much cheaper than sick kids.
I'm feeling, sad and, well, sad today.
Missing my girl and thinking on things no parent should have to think about.