Another sweet baby has joined Eva this morning.
I prayed for sweet Selah all week as she went from seizures to infection to cardiac failure to respiratory failure to hope and then finally to her last cardiac failure and joined Eva in Jesus' arms.
My tears are falling heavily this morning as I know the darkest road her parents are walking right now. All while living on another continent from their family.
I never felt really hopeful about her outcome here on earth and never prayed for her healing but rather for a peace that surpasses all understanding for her family. I try to ignore the feelings of dread when I see a newborn. I look at all babies and wonder if they too, will die. And leave their parents bereaved and bereft. So when I had those feelings for Selah when she was born I avoided them because I feel dread and joy at the birth of every new baby.
But when Selah got sick I felt sick to my stomach with dread and pre-emptive grief for this family. I blogged yesterday about healing and I could not join in people's hope for her life (here on earth). But she is healed. She is healed and perfect and whole in heaven. And her parents are left to stumble blindly through life wondering how this can possibly be true. How can they have just held the most perfect girl only to not have her to hold anymore? And my breasts ache for Selah's mom as she works to dry up a milk supply she worked lovingly to get to feed her precious baby.
And still I am left here grieving, and trusting. Trusting God in the awfulness of life and in hope for the sweet day we see our children again.
Join me in praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding for the family of sweet baby Selah Shalom, whose very name means peace.