Crappy Father's Day.

Father's Day today. I cannot even bear to wish a happy father's day to the man I love who stands by my side as we raise our children.

Father's Day 2011 Eva was airlifted to the Stollery and I glimpsed the gates of hell. 2 months later she would pass through the gates of heaven and, despite the joy that I have, my life has been hell ever since.

And Friday was Samuel's 7th birthday. And Nathan's 2 month birthday. Both on the 14th. I'm thankful they do not share the 15th with Eva.

Yesterday was another 15th. It was such a hard, sad day I couldn't even write. And that's saying a lot because writing is my outlet. Writing is my gift. Writing is my all that I have and I am rarely at a loss for the written word.

We'll be back to our death challenge soon. I just don't have it in me right now. I am empty.