Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A brief baby update.


Our day is up.

Today has been a day wholly devoted to flipping our babe.

Inversions. Handstands in the pool. The Webster maneuver at the chiropractor.

As of right now our little rainbow is still breech.

Tomorrow morning we go in for an external version. There will be an OR ready for us if an emergency c-section is required.

I have mixed emotions about this. It feels like whatever choice we make will be the wrong one.

Not least on my mind is recovering from a c-section and having 5 children to care for (including Little J and our rainbow if s/he lives). I guess that is one bridge we'll cross if we get to it.

I really just can't fathom bringing home a living baby at this point. I feel like our lives will be just one loss after another with other people getting the cherries while we are left with the pits.

And mostly I just miss my girl.

Miss my life before her death. Miss the me I used to be. Miss the easy laughter. Miss my confidence.

Miss Eva.






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11 comments:

  1. PBE's MomApril 9, 2013 at 10:15 PM

    Hey my friend, been praying for you (all) a lot lately, and just wanted to tell you that and to say I've been thinking of you lots and lots everyday. I'm not always (usually I have no clue) how or what to be praying for so a lot of the time I'm just asking the Holy Spirit to pray on my behalf for you. Right now I'm praying for peace in the midst of a situation I can't begin to comprehend. Love you...
    Karle

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  2. HeidiApril 9, 2013 at 10:34 PM

    Praying for you ...

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  3. CarolineApril 10, 2013 at 3:47 AM

    Em my thoughts & prayers are with you today. Remember to breath & that a whole community is here ready and waiting to walk whatever path awaits you. Joy, sorrow, pain or sweet bliss.

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  4. Grace's MomApril 10, 2013 at 4:47 AM

    I am sorry the baby did not cooperate and turn. This is his/her story and as much as we would like we have no control over it. My friend's daughter was breech and had to be born by C-section after the external version did not work and she is fine (a healthy 5 year old now). Eva is with you and will always be, especially tomorrow. Missing her with you, but hoping and praying this baby comes screaming into this world soon.

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  5. Crystal April 10, 2013 at 6:29 AM

    Praying for you Em.

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  6. SameenApril 10, 2013 at 7:38 AM

    Holding you in my thoughts and prayers today. Know that whatever choice you make for this babys arrival is the choice you were meant to make. Missing Eva with you, and waiting eagerly for a kicking screaming living healthy baby brothr/sister for eva,your boys, and little J :)

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  7. SuzanneApril 10, 2013 at 8:17 AM

    <3 <3 <3 missing Eva with you <3 <3 <3

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  8. JennApril 10, 2013 at 8:50 AM

    Praying for you and thinking of you. Hoping for the best possible outcome. xx

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  9. March is for daffodilsApril 10, 2013 at 11:22 AM

    Thinking of you today, Em and sending love and hugs.

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  10. sallyApril 10, 2013 at 12:31 PM

    Big big hugs Em

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  11. TashApril 10, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    I'm thinking about you and your baby today. Hoping Eva's little brother or sister arrives safe and sound.

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