Tuesday, April 9, 2013
A brief baby update.
Our day is up.
Today has been a day wholly devoted to flipping our babe.
Inversions. Handstands in the pool. The Webster maneuver at the chiropractor.
As of right now our little rainbow is still breech.
Tomorrow morning we go in for an external version. There will be an OR ready for us if an emergency c-section is required.
I have mixed emotions about this. It feels like whatever choice we make will be the wrong one.
Not least on my mind is recovering from a c-section and having 5 children to care for (including Little J and our rainbow if s/he lives). I guess that is one bridge we'll cross if we get to it.
I really just can't fathom bringing home a living baby at this point. I feel like our lives will be just one loss after another with other people getting the cherries while we are left with the pits.
And mostly I just miss my girl.
Miss my life before her death. Miss the me I used to be. Miss the easy laughter. Miss my confidence.