Honour.

A mom whose blog I follow whose son was killed in a horrible car accident recently wrote this.

This is why I refuse to be a victim and why I am choosing to be a survivor.  I refuse to live my life that way...REFUSE!  That's no way to honor Colum.  I honor him by moving forward and by trying to live happily and I'm doing my best everyday.  I'm still sad, it will never go away.  But I'm honoring him.

These words spoke to me. They spoke to me through my grief and into my heart. She wrote it so well. Cause every smile and every 'okay' and every joyful moment with my children honours Eva.

It's hard to explain you know. Hard to explain to those who don't know, with clarity, exactly what I mean.   Because choosing to honour Eva doesn't negate the pain and tears and grief I have over losing my precious daughter.  Doesn't negate the huge hole in our family where Eva should be. Doesn't negate the goodnights I whisper in the darkness before I go to sleep.

I miss you little girl. I love you and I miss you and I honour you.