Getting old...

I'm starting to 'get' why old folks like their old hymns in church.

I walked down to the back pasture today to go get one of the horses for the farrier.

As I walked, I held Theodore's hand,  carried Nathan in an ergo while Samuel and Vincent rode bikes ahead of me...Little J opted to stay in the house reading books. I sang a song that had been so meaningful to me in my early walk with Jesus.

Come, just as you are to worship.
Come, just as you are before your God, Come.
One day every tongue will confess you are God.
One day every knee will bow.

Come, just as you are before your God, Come.

I loved this song then and I love it now. I love the imagery of everyone coming to Jesus. Coming just as we are. Coming in our work clothes. Coming in our Sunday best. Coming in our tattoos. Coming in our shorts. Coming in our pretty dresses. Coming with our dirty faces. Coming in the morning of rejoicing and coming while we struggle through the night. Coming in our poverty and coming in our riches. Coming just as we are. Covered in snot and tears. Coming with anger. Coming just as we are to Jesus.

I see him there with arms open wide.

But I'm getting old. I know it because I haven't heard that song in church for quite awhile. When I first became a Christian (Sept 9th 2001) it was sung all the time. I bonded with that song and I've sung it many, many, many times. As I walked to the back pasture, in the gorgeous sunlight with the wind rustling in the trees and surrounded by my earthly children I sang it out loud to God. To my kids. To myself. And I felt joy, even as I cried a little.

Because, I can come to Jesus. I can come to him at anytime. I can come to him in my tears and in my anger. He wipes my tears and embraces me. He does not judge me for grieving my precious daughter for too long. He loves me and he embraces me 'just as I am'.

And I wish I heard it in church more often now. And I 'get' why old folks want to hear those hymns again. They bonded with those hymns like I bonded with this song.