Sunday, January 20, 2013


Something unusual happened today.

I saw someone I know but rarely see. I hadn't seen this person since before Eva died. Maybe even before she was born. That's how infrequently we cross paths.

But this person said hello and then looked me in the eye and said she had seen Mike but hadn't seen me since our daughter died. She said she was sorry and that it was very sad. She didn't beat around the bush. She didn't avoid me. She didn't pretend nothing had happened. She admired a photo of Eva and told me how beautiful she was.  I thanked her for not beating around the bush and for mentioning Eva.

Yes, it brought a few tears to my eyes but it was good.

Better than wondering if she knew our daughter had died.
Better than wondering if she even knew we had a daughter.



  1. Sometimes just that little bit of upfront acknowledgement is all you need from someone

  2. Yes, I agree. I met a woman once, when I was pregnant with Nathaniel, at a fundraiser, and then I met her again at a party during the holiday. We made talk that was quite small. I didn't expect that she remember me, or the fact that I was pregnant the last time we saw each other. I honestly didn't recognize her. But in the middle of our conversation, she said that she wanted me to know that she knew my story. She knew what happened with Nathaniel, and she was so, so sorry. I was surprised, and touched by her honesty and her willingness to acknowledge something painful that she didn't have to. I'm glad you have kind and honest people in your community. <3

    1. I'm glad you had someone like that cross your path Suzanne.

  3. Just to have someone remember is beautiful. Sometimes it makes it easier to move forward in a sense...When someone you know doesn't bring up a loss it almost makes it a stumbling block, but when it is acknowledged in such a thoughtful simple way it is no longer a barrier of sorts.


  4. That is refreshing. I'm glad. I found out this week that it must be fairly common knowledge at E's daycare that our baby died last year. I assumed it would be because - let's face it - parents - and especially mothers - are always checking each other out and most of them would have noticed I was big and pregnant. But no one ever says a thing to me, not a single thing. Some go out of their way to avoid me. I have had some refreshing moments in the last couple weeks though where I have told people about Anja and they have responded with such grace, such compassion. I'm so happy this woman was able to talk to you.