Monday, May 12, 2014

Mother's Day sorrow and joy.

Yesterday was a mixed bag for me. I was so, so sad missing my littlest girl and so happy to have my boys and Josie. Feeling betrayed by God for taking my one precious Eva.

Spent part of the day thinking about some that I know who have it so much worse and how, still, I wish so much that my own particular little Eva hadn't died. 

Spent another part of the day thinking on those who seem to have it so much better and easier. Selfishly wanted them to suffer just a little bit too. So they could have a glimpse of the hell bereaved parents live in every day.

Spent another part of the day simply enjoying the children I have in my life now. Wondering how my Eva would have been a part of the day. Would she like ketchup on her hot dog like Mike and the other kids or would she prefer mustard like me? Would she be a big eater like her brothers or talk non stop like Josie? All this I'd like to know...

God I miss that girl. Still and every day but especially on Mother's Day when children should spend the day with their moms. 

Mother's Day, my most favourite holiday that penetrates my heart like a two edged sword.

Mother's Day. Day of sorrow and joy.


  1. Happy Mother's Day! I so wish your sweet Eva could've been there with you.

  2. It is such a hard day. I am glad that you survived it. Thinking of you and Eva. I am not sure how often you visit Glow anymore, but Li is having another knitting tree project for Marlo's birthday, there is a description on the home page.