I had coffee with someone sort of new today. Someone who has often posted on my facebook page just to say she's thinking of me or praying for me. Someone I didn't always respond to but it meant alot to me that she was praying for me both when Eva was sick and now, when she isn't sick anymore.
When I left I said thanks for the coffee that was nice. It was nice. This someone said to me that she was a little scared inviting me over. She didn't really know how it would go. I really appreciated her honesty and her willingness to go out on a limb and invite me over. Just jump in and invite the mom with the dead baby over for a cup of coffee. We just had a normal time. We talked about her kids. We talked about my kids. We talked about Eva some too, but not all the time. Not more than the other kids, I don't think. She is one of my kids, after all. Always will be. As I left I joked that I would blog about our visit. I didn't really mean it, but here I am, blogging about it.
It was nice. It felt normal and good.
This much I know is true: With God, life often doesn`t make sense. Without God, life makes even less sense.
It sounds nice to have a new friend and to have a chance to talk about Eva with someone who seems to understand and who clearly cares. Making new friends is a real challenge for me - how can I come into someone's life and drop the bereaved mother bomb?
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Suzanne, It wasn't really a bomb with this person. She already knew about Eva when she was sick. Yes, I get it. The dad baby mom bomb. The I don't know how to talk to you bomb. I don't really feel like making new friends right now. I just want to live in my comfortable shell with the few people that I truly love. But, yes, it was nice to just have coffee with someone sort of new.
DeleteI love those people who go out on a limb, I'm so pleased that you met up and had a nice, normal time. It's interesting, when I am talking to the occasional person who doesn't mind chatting about Georgina, I find that she doesn't take up more 'space' than she might have done, as one child of three. And that is as it should be.
ReplyDeleteYes Catherine. I didn't even realize it was such a limb to go out on to invite me over for coffee until she said she had been scared to have me over. Then I realized how utterly uncomfortable it must be for people to have me over. You know, even in a sort-of normal conversation I still tear-up. I don't bring kleenex with me anymore. I'm so used to it. But others aren't and I am the epitomy of any mom's worst fears. Who wants that in their living room, really.
DeleteI want you in my living room! I love you. I'm glad you had a good time being "normal", I'm also glad the kind of new girl reached out like that. Can't wait for our coffee date.
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